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Life is Grand. Life is Random. Life Hurts. Life Comforts. Life Gives. Life Takes. Life Loves and You're Not Alone nor Lost

Love The Rambler








5.19.2010

Facebook in Real Life

  So this is funny. Its interesting how somethings only work out in the cyber world. I would say we have to be aware that we are not letting our definitions of being in relationship be shaped by cyber inventions. A guy wrote a book about our brains actually becoming like Google' because we are so impatient and A.D.D about the world becuase we are so used to everything being only a click away- video games, tv, search engines, Facebook and the like. Interesting.... Very interesting,....

5.10.2010

A Mother's Day Hangover.....

S
So I woke up this morning with a Mother's Day hangover, and not in the alcoholic sense but rather a spiritual hangover. I feel so drained and exhausted because for me this mother's day was just sort of a sadder sicker version than usual.  It wasn't all bad but man was there just a flood of emotions and stories this year that just magnifies the necessity for the mothering spirit to be on point and present in this world.

Most years I get a little down at the sad stories I hear but this year it was just too much. I am so blessed by my mom and our relationship and her presence in my life. I never take it for granted but this year it was just canonized to the greatest level by all I  could compare it to out there. It seemed everywhere I turned there was some depravity at the deepest level.  In theory each year I know there are people out there struggling with mothers day, and a few stories I hear closer to my world in whispers.

This year they weren't just on t.v but screamed in my ears by people close to me I love, and caused this hangover deep in the pit of my stomach...

Why must a mother abandon her first born child?
Why must a mother kill her child before they're born and regret it ever after?
Why must a mother not know who her child's father is?
Why must a mother find out her husband and children's father is not only cheating on her but started a porn business behind her back?
Why must a child tell me their former foster mother beat them until bloody, degraded their self esteem, dangled 'adoption' like a carrot of control, and then forced them to call her 'mommy'?
Why must a teen mom make a smart but sad choice to give their child up for adoption?
Why must a marriage of 30 years end over dumbness?
Why must a teen be raped by their father and uncle at age 2 and prostituted by mom at 4 and unsure if she'll ever physically be able to become a mom ?
Why must a mom choose drugs and addiction over her children's well being, no matter how many times help is offered?
Why must a mom loose their  4year old to brain cancer?
Why must a mother be so mentally out of touch with psychosis that she doesn't even know her own kids? 
Why must a mom be an ocean away from their child just to survive and provide?
Why must a woman put off being a mom for another season due to money or no health insurance?
Why must a 29 year old have to spend her first mothers day without her mom alive?

While this causes nausea and ever wondering, the question can not be 'why?' because it demands an answer and to these,there are few answers if at all. Its not time to ask why, but to ask 'what next?' The redemption to any and all of this is that God is still in the midst of this madness and is ready to comfort us in our time of need.  It makes me hate and oppose evil ever stronger when I see this because in this world today we like to say 'sin' and 'evil' doesn't really exist. But when the bond and intent for the maternal instinct is tarnished at such a dark systemic level, I can say evil and sin exists seeking to devour and destroy by night. These examples are far beyond just 'bad choices' but they are fueled not by logic, love, practicality or any other decent human attribute- they are infecting and tarnishing good people to do bad things and that source I call 'evil'.


The redemption is that the above examples, most have persevered through the nightmare and are moving on with life and making every moment count. People are having to face real hard times, but it is putting into perspective what is important in this world. The kids who have been abused are loving again, shooting for graduation or career goals, are looking forward to being a better parent than what they were taught, and have found God's peace. They have called me 'mom' for the first time, they have called me 'the best mom' they ever had, they have really blessed me this Mothers day and I give all glory to God.  They have not defined themselves by their past or their torture but rather how far out of the hole they have climbed from. They stand victorious and say "What the devil meant to harm me with, The Lord has turned it for my good..."


So I recover from this hangover just like any hangover...I mourn, I puke,  I cry, I pray, I nourish, I rest and re hydrate -but with the LIVING water this time...

Hos 14:9  Who is wise? He will realize these things. Who is discerning? He will 
understand them. The ways of the LORD are right; the righteous walk in 
them, but the rebellious stumble in them.
 

LUK 1:79  to shine on those living in darkness and in the shadow of death, 
to guide our feet into the path of peace."

Gal 5:17  For the sinful nature desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the 
Spirit what is contrary to the sinful nature. They are in conflict with 
each other, so that you do not do what you want.
 
 

5.04.2010

5 Steps to Getting Out Of a Rut- Or hot mess!

1. Acknowledge Your Rut-to someone else! Its long been said about many things from addictions to issues- Denial is the first step, in that we all deny our 'mess' and try to move on and put a Band-Aid on it! (But underneath it festers). If we only admit our issues to ourselves we can easily hide them- accountability demands change. If you don't know your issues, pray for them to be shown to you. Ask those closest to you and often they'll tell you, but you have to accept it however painful. If you want a neutral person try a counselor or therapist. Its so much more honorable to 'out' yourself than for others to do it for you.
Luke 12:3:
Therefore whatever you have said in the dark shall be heard in the light, and what you have whispered in private rooms shall be proclaimed on the housetops.
John 8:32:
and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free."
James 5:16:
Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much.
Haggai 1:5:
 This is what the Lord of Heaven’s Armies says: Look at what’s happening to you!
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2. Say Sorry!-to those you've hurt & to God! We’ve all hurt others as we are naturally selfish. We get consumed with me, myself and I. When we find ourselves in a rut its usually because we have focused so heavily on our needs, wants and put others last. We must apologize for our issues and the actions that have got us into a rut in the first place. Acknowledging this domino effect can help us see the truth in what is and how it became what is in front of us. To humble ourselves is the most freeing feeling that opens our hearts up to receive more important things than pride.
Matthew 23:12:
 Whoever exalts himself will be humbled, and whoever humbles himself will be exalted.
1 John 1:9:
If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and( to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
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3. Avoid Temptations and Blame Part of our ruts are often us giving in to what tempts us. We think we can have our cake and eat it too! We keep doing the same thing over expecting different results! We must resist the things that ruin us. Often times we blame God, others, conspiracy's or 'the man' when truly it was our bad decisions that have us where we're at. We must break through those by changing and doing NEW things in the right direction. An addict lives day by day or moment by moment sober just to keep that day or moment clean.
Romans 8:13:
For if you live according to the flesh you will die, but if by the Spirit you(A) put to death the deeds of the body, you will live
Proverbs 21:21:
Whoever pursues righteousness and kindness will find life, righteousness, and honor.
Matthew 26:41:
Keep watch and pray, so that you will not give in to temptation. For the spirit is willing, but the body is weak!”
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4. Crawl Out, Clean Up & Suck it Up! We have to decide to either lie down and die or crawl out of the rut we made! We must be willing to clean up the mess we've made too. We've hurt others and just because we've apologized does not mean everything is ok. We must suffer through some of the long term consequences of our actions. Just because we can repent in a day, doesn’t mean we can be off the hook in a day. While God forgives immediately He doesn’t undue and erase payment due for others. We must just suck it up and remind ourselves that the only way to get through it, is to GO through it.
Proverbs 15:33:
 The fear of the LORD is instruction in wisdom, and humility comes before honor.
Psalm 147:6:
The LORD lifts up the humble;he casts the wicked to the ground.
Romans 12:12
Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.


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5. Stay in Community & Restore Relationships

So often its when we get away from the pack that we become weak and vulnerable to wolves. We find our ruts reflections of our weak relationships. We are at odds with God, friends, family, lovers, politicians, kids and more. We were not created to be in constant solitude. Just because we are around people does not mean we are in community and relationship. Just because we are in solitude does not mean we are lonely. We have to plug back in, be present, take note, give and receive what relationship has to offer. Its hard because of past rejections but it’s the only way to true inner peace. We've all craved to be cared over and protected at some point in our lives. Restoring a true fatherly relationship with God can heal a multitude of issues. Its not about saying the right things and repeating the correct answers its about just being in community and relationship with God and others. Remember no man is an island...
John 6:27:
 Do not labor for the food that perishes, but for the food that endures to eternal life, which the Son of Man will give to you. For on him God the Father has set his seal."
Philippians 2:3-4:
Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves. 4 Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too.
1 John 2:10
Whoever loves his brother lives in the light, and there is nothing in him to make him stumble.
1 Cor 12:21
 "The eye cannot say to the hand, 'I don't need you!' ..."
Genesis 2:18
"The Lord God said, 'It is not good for the man to be alone...'"
Psalm 142:4
"Look to my right and see; no one is concerned for me. I have no refuge; no one cares for my life."
Psalm 27:10
"Though my father and mother forsake me, the Lord will receive me."