I can remember back to sitting at the bus
stop in 1st grade thinking "I have 11 more
years of this!!?!?" and being very tired
and gloomy about the predicament of a life
sentence condemned to school. Now here I
stand being out of school a decade and
registering my kids for kindergarten and
MIDDLE SCHOOL next year!!! AHHHHHH! It’s
seemed like a blink and time has flown
over these 30 years. Why did that day at
the bus stop feel so eternal?
stop in 1st grade thinking "I have 11 more
years of this!!?!?" and being very tired
and gloomy about the predicament of a life
sentence condemned to school. Now here I
stand being out of school a decade and
registering my kids for kindergarten and
MIDDLE SCHOOL next year!!! AHHHHHH! It’s
seemed like a blink and time has flown
over these 30 years. Why did that day at
the bus stop feel so eternal?
As I sit and ponder over these last few
decades I feel happy where by contrary
I used to think 30 was the beginning of
‘old’. But these days I don’t ever wish
to be 21 again (Like oh my gosh -lets
do a shot!shivering outside the club
in a mini skirt see this Louis CK
comedy clip!! HAHA LOL) I have come
into woman hood and know a lot more of
what I want and where I’m going.
Today I ask what’s important to know
at 30? A few thoughts.
decades I feel happy where by contrary
I used to think 30 was the beginning of
‘old’. But these days I don’t ever wish
to be 21 again (Like oh my gosh -lets
do a shot!shivering outside the club
in a mini skirt see this Louis CK
comedy clip!! HAHA LOL) I have come
into woman hood and know a lot more of
what I want and where I’m going.
Today I ask what’s important to know
at 30? A few thoughts.
The Value of Freedom
My therapist pointed this out, not
sure in concern or observation- guess
I’ll find out next session. I’ve thought
over this for a few days now and I guess
the reason I do is because I’ve had it
taken away. I’ve learned over the years
how things can just come crashing into
my life, chew me up and spit me out.
While the more obvious ones are things
like controlling relationships w/ family,
friends, bank accounts, idiot bosses and
love interests- they’re not the only
takers. Even great things like careers,
charity work, ministry, children, and
marriage can be all consuming. It may
sound harsh but while all the above have
such blessings and give so much to the
richness of my life- it’s a fine line
between living fully and loosing my self
completely in the hustle and bustle of
life. I guess I now value fending off
the life sucking vortex’s of this world
and protecting the ability to keep options
open, experience things w/ others but also
alone, and protect my freedoms……
sure in concern or observation- guess
I’ll find out next session. I’ve thought
over this for a few days now and I guess
the reason I do is because I’ve had it
taken away. I’ve learned over the years
how things can just come crashing into
my life, chew me up and spit me out.
While the more obvious ones are things
like controlling relationships w/ family,
friends, bank accounts, idiot bosses and
love interests- they’re not the only
takers. Even great things like careers,
charity work, ministry, children, and
marriage can be all consuming. It may
sound harsh but while all the above have
such blessings and give so much to the
richness of my life- it’s a fine line
between living fully and loosing my self
completely in the hustle and bustle of
life. I guess I now value fending off
the life sucking vortex’s of this world
and protecting the ability to keep options
open, experience things w/ others but also
alone, and protect my freedoms……
The Value of Education
I get excited about education and learning
now days. I want to know so much. I want
to search, find and experience so many
different levels of education. This world,
these people, this life has so much to
offer me and I want a piece of all I can
handle. I want to explore and learn in
a holistic hands on sort of way. I have
compiled lists about all the things I want
to know- And yes it seems a bit daunting
but all the more exciting. Why I wonder,
maybe because if I can only live this
life once I want to know all the things
I can know. As a teen I was so anti
formal learning but I always wanted to
learn- even if that was learning about
‘substances’, boys, parties, ditching
school, celebrity gossip, evading adults,
criminal activity and making mistakes
the hard way- I was hungry to learn. Not
having the ability to finish college due
to a baby at 19 (see above learning
experiences) have propelled me to continue
learning even if informally. The
opportunity was taken away, or rather given
up, and now I love adding to the repertoire
of knowledge that makes me tick.
now days. I want to know so much. I want
to search, find and experience so many
different levels of education. This world,
these people, this life has so much to
offer me and I want a piece of all I can
handle. I want to explore and learn in
a holistic hands on sort of way. I have
compiled lists about all the things I want
to know- And yes it seems a bit daunting
but all the more exciting. Why I wonder,
maybe because if I can only live this
life once I want to know all the things
I can know. As a teen I was so anti
formal learning but I always wanted to
learn- even if that was learning about
‘substances’, boys, parties, ditching
school, celebrity gossip, evading adults,
criminal activity and making mistakes
the hard way- I was hungry to learn. Not
having the ability to finish college due
to a baby at 19 (see above learning
experiences) have propelled me to continue
learning even if informally. The
opportunity was taken away, or rather given
up, and now I love adding to the repertoire
of knowledge that makes me tick.
The Value of relationships &
the people in our lives
the people in our lives
People have come and people have gone.
There has been pain and joy in both.
These days I feel life is too short to
miss out on good people and too long to
be stuck w/ ignoramus irritators. I
used to think I had to keep as many
people in my life as I could. The more
the better, the more the cooler I was.
These days I subscribe to quality not
quantity. It’s a sick world we live in
when so many people just use people
for their own gain. I have such a giving
caring spirit that I really have had to
watch out for the wolves on the prowl.
Developing relationship skills for
friendships, marriage, parenting, ministry,
and with God are very crucial to me.
IT takes practice and more than intuitive
instincts. People come from all walks of
life, with different values, perspectives
and personalities. I guess people don’t
think just like I do! To be grateful for
the special people in my life that make
my world turn is something I don’t take
for granted. My always present God, My
amazing husband, my loving children, my
fantastic family and my special friends
are all I need!
There has been pain and joy in both.
These days I feel life is too short to
miss out on good people and too long to
be stuck w/ ignoramus irritators. I
used to think I had to keep as many
people in my life as I could. The more
the better, the more the cooler I was.
These days I subscribe to quality not
quantity. It’s a sick world we live in
when so many people just use people
for their own gain. I have such a giving
caring spirit that I really have had to
watch out for the wolves on the prowl.
Developing relationship skills for
friendships, marriage, parenting, ministry,
and with God are very crucial to me.
IT takes practice and more than intuitive
instincts. People come from all walks of
life, with different values, perspectives
and personalities. I guess people don’t
think just like I do! To be grateful for
the special people in my life that make
my world turn is something I don’t take
for granted. My always present God, My
amazing husband, my loving children, my
fantastic family and my special friends
are all I need!
The Value of Beauty
Having a 30th birthday can make women cry.
Life is over at 30 and certainly beauty
right? No. Some of the most beautiful
women in the world and on tv are 30+.
I don’t want to go back to the 20’s.
I don’t get depressed at needing to
return to younger days. I wouldn’t
trade the rock hard tummy and 40lbs for
the ignorance of those daysJ After
watching a movie called ‘Its you Again’
I am reminded of the ‘important’ things
in high school and how beauty was directly
associated with status and popularity.
The actress’ Jamie Lee Curtis ,Sigourney
Weaver and Betty White seemed so natural
on camera. I don’t mean natural as actress’
- I mean you could see wrinkles! They didn’t
seem to have those flat plastic blow up lip
faces. They seemed like they made a decision
to leave the aging process to its natural
path and not try to turn back the clock.
It was refreshing especially for Hollywood.
I see beauty as so much more than just
looks. I see it as confidence, power, joy,
and embracing what is- even if it is a
wrinkle and a gray hair. I see our bodies
and looks as a beautiful tapestry of our
life’s experience. Some are scars of pain
and others scars of joy- yet all the like
they are markings in the world of who we
are. Beauty in a child’s face, beauty of a
mountain, and beauty of a mans chiseled chest!
Life is over at 30 and certainly beauty
right? No. Some of the most beautiful
women in the world and on tv are 30+.
I don’t want to go back to the 20’s.
I don’t get depressed at needing to
return to younger days. I wouldn’t
trade the rock hard tummy and 40lbs for
the ignorance of those daysJ After
watching a movie called ‘Its you Again’
I am reminded of the ‘important’ things
in high school and how beauty was directly
associated with status and popularity.
The actress’ Jamie Lee Curtis ,Sigourney
Weaver and Betty White seemed so natural
on camera. I don’t mean natural as actress’
- I mean you could see wrinkles! They didn’t
seem to have those flat plastic blow up lip
faces. They seemed like they made a decision
to leave the aging process to its natural
path and not try to turn back the clock.
It was refreshing especially for Hollywood.
I see beauty as so much more than just
looks. I see it as confidence, power, joy,
and embracing what is- even if it is a
wrinkle and a gray hair. I see our bodies
and looks as a beautiful tapestry of our
life’s experience. Some are scars of pain
and others scars of joy- yet all the like
they are markings in the world of who we
are. Beauty in a child’s face, beauty of a
mountain, and beauty of a mans chiseled chest!
The Value of Health…
I am happy today about the daily birthday
indulgences of chicken fried steak, mashed
potatoes, grilled corn beef stroganoff,
turkey dinner, frito pies and chocolate!
When I was 18 I would’ve eaten all that
crap in full size meals. Today I shared
the above and was happy with just a few
bites of each! I went to the gym to work
out because I like to and I feel great
doing so. I value having stints of not
getting a cold or stomach bug. I value
not having to go to weekly dialysis or
having to bear the agony of chemo therapy.
I want to fill my body, my temple with
life giving natural un messed with foods.
I want to live long to see my family
and I don’t want any addictions to take
those years away from me. I value every
step I can take with out a prosthetic or wheel.
indulgences of chicken fried steak, mashed
potatoes, grilled corn beef stroganoff,
turkey dinner, frito pies and chocolate!
When I was 18 I would’ve eaten all that
crap in full size meals. Today I shared
the above and was happy with just a few
bites of each! I went to the gym to work
out because I like to and I feel great
doing so. I value having stints of not
getting a cold or stomach bug. I value
not having to go to weekly dialysis or
having to bear the agony of chemo therapy.
I want to fill my body, my temple with
life giving natural un messed with foods.
I want to live long to see my family
and I don’t want any addictions to take
those years away from me. I value every
step I can take with out a prosthetic or wheel.
The Value of God
As I age I realize just how weak I am.
I see how I fall into traps and get myself
into trouble. Whether that’s my defeating
self talk or my fears that grow larger in
my head than they would ever actually
manifest. I need all the help I can get.
Sadly people alone dont fill this need.
I’ve met some of the best people in the
world and they still fail and don’t do
everything right. I get hurt, I get let
down, and I make mistakes. Having a solid
rock that changes not with the wind, or
the trend is so significant. I see the
beauty of God manifest in my life through
those I love and the setting sun. I see
him keep me through all the crazy and he
keeps blessing me day in and day out.
He even blessed me when I rejected him
and didn’t believe. His value is infinite
and nothing has ever filled my heart like my God.
I see how I fall into traps and get myself
into trouble. Whether that’s my defeating
self talk or my fears that grow larger in
my head than they would ever actually
manifest. I need all the help I can get.
Sadly people alone dont fill this need.
I’ve met some of the best people in the
world and they still fail and don’t do
everything right. I get hurt, I get let
down, and I make mistakes. Having a solid
rock that changes not with the wind, or
the trend is so significant. I see the
beauty of God manifest in my life through
those I love and the setting sun. I see
him keep me through all the crazy and he
keeps blessing me day in and day out.
He even blessed me when I rejected him
and didn’t believe. His value is infinite
and nothing has ever filled my heart like my God.
I guess we should all take inventories of
our lives whether that’s daily or on special
occasions where we celebrate decades away
from the day of birth. I get excited about
random things and random experiences and
to me that makes my life rich. I’ll never
give up, I’ll never be defeated, I’ll never
let the woe’s of this life consume me. There
is far more to be grateful for and to
celebrate ecstatically. If I keep my head down
I'll miss all that comes my way. If I cover
my eyes I may just get passed by. If I focus
on the gloomy I leave little room to engage in
joy. I sit here in peace, pregnant with a
wine glass alternative toffee mocha
and give cheers to 30 years! MUAH!
our lives whether that’s daily or on special
occasions where we celebrate decades away
from the day of birth. I get excited about
random things and random experiences and
to me that makes my life rich. I’ll never
give up, I’ll never be defeated, I’ll never
let the woe’s of this life consume me. There
is far more to be grateful for and to
celebrate ecstatically. If I keep my head down
I'll miss all that comes my way. If I cover
my eyes I may just get passed by. If I focus
on the gloomy I leave little room to engage in
joy. I sit here in peace, pregnant with a
wine glass alternative toffee mocha
and give cheers to 30 years! MUAH!
