I always say I love weddings because I didn't get one...that's a half true statement. I didn't get a 'wedding' in the traditional sense. I had more of a vow exchange and dinner with ten people. It was beautiful, it was lovely it was all I needed at the time. As I approach ten years my soul has grown with love over the traditional American wedding. It isn't because I like, rather love cake! It isn't because I love satin dresses, buffet lines and things blue or borrowed. I love weddings because of the beauty of their healing and unity! I love the representations and sentiments through the arts, music and creativity we hold inside of all of us.
So often the media portrays the wedding with Bridezillas, lavish money dropped, interpersonal and family drama. Not to say those things aren't present, but at the end of the day, I don't think that's what anyone is left with. I don't think people walk away with wounds of those hiccups in the procession, other than maybe wedding planning pros and control freaks. At the end of the big day I think people are left with a sense of love, commitment, refreshment, vigor and most importantly a feeling of what really matters in life.
We all know American weddings usually, half the time, end in divorce. Why the big deal? Why the big waste? If half will fail why go through all the rah rah? Its only a piece of paper isn't it?? My simple answer is faith. Risk. In life we are never certain of tomorrow. The old cliche's say 'live like its your last day, live like you're dying'. The new cliche: YOLO. I mean the numbers and the probabilities are terribly against the price of a wedding, but are they against the VALUE of a wedding? I say those memories and feelings are priceless and thank God for great photos to remind us of that in all the chaos of the day.
I remember hearing an old boss rave about how it didn't matter that he'd been divorced twice before age 40 but how he was going to propose to his love half way around the world still. He raved about how he didn't care if he was married five or six times, he was going to love and love to ends of his being no matter what his doubts or heartbreak told him. I paused. Perplexed. Looking back on my spiritual beliefs about marriage it caught me off guard. You get married once, if it fails you don't just jump back in the boiling pot. But something about his faith stood out. He wasn't going to let his fears and failures control him.
I don't believe in recklessness and blind faith. I do believe in vetting your mates and making wise decisions. But I also know how marriages of thirty days and thirty years fall apart and how people stay in love and married for over sixty years too. Being married for almost ten years I know the pain and the strife. I also know its rewards. I know its worth when you fight through. But what is a wedding? Is it a waste of time? Is it entrapment by the powers that be, telling us how much money to spend and what we are expected to provide? Maybe, but for me I've found renewal in weddings. I've found peace and faith in the things unseen, that we can't prove with empirical evidence and formulas, but that we feel with our spirits.
Whether its the bonds created over midnight crafts, the meaning in mother and daughter ironing the same dress, relief in morning lavender baths, pressure relieved by helpful friends, peace brought by a renewed friendship, memories in old friendships, revival of a family paused by grief, embracing of an outcast family member, the movie scene perfection of a long lost daughter twirling like a fairy around the bride n groom on the dance floor with her 'real family', or the honest speech debacles of laughter, sorrow and mood recovery, Weddings represent our humanity through grace and honesty. When all is hectic and out of place, things get pulled together. When people seem apart they work together as a team. When there is uncertainty in how things will work out, they do. When what is close to our hearts manifests in the outward details not just in empty materials. When people are aching or distant, they are united. When we doubt destiny, love, healing, God and all that is good in this life, we are REMINDED!
Oh Be Joyful Photography Indiana
Picture the Day Photography Denver
