Oprah's Long Lost Sister....A Testimony to Character

As I recover from a wicked flu I laze around in bed and divulged in a four o' clock Oprah show....something I rarely have time for.  The info on the show said "Oprah Reveals a Secret" so you know I'm thinking someone's going to get to go to Australia again or some poor people get helped by her magic golden wand. What was shocking was to see her face start the show off barely able to hold back tears. She went into saying how over the years she had reunited family's with long lost relatives and that now she would reveal a secret that her family had, that she just learned about a few months ago. I thought to myself "I haven't seen this in the tabloids" ( yeah I look at the grocery store ok?)  I thought last I checked the stories were about her and Gayle being gay or Stedmond cheating or something cheesy. 

As the show went on it was nearly like a fairy tale that was just being aired. How could this have been kept so secret to the point that Oprah was able to hold off press until her actual show aired? I've seen a few of her behind the scenes show on OWN and its crazy how many people it takes to produce a show, surely someone would of blabbed or sold out by now!  Well apparently there are still people left in this world with some class and better yet character. One of those being the long lost half sister that Oprah just learned she had this October (2010)

A beautiful story about a young woman named Patricia who was given up for adoption in 1963 began to unfold. A story of sadness through the foster care system hit me as I do foster care myself.  But a story of triumph in that while a single mom of two kids pulls herself out of the cycle. She becomes a strong hard working mom of two, free of drugs, free of the abusive boyfriend, but now free of the aching to find her long lost family. For years she searched tyring to get the records and finally they were given to her. As she browsed through them there were no names but several birth dates of siblings that she had. This made her longing stronger as she now knew there were others out there, she had siblings!  She continued pursuing and researching and things just didn't seem to go her way. The one thing that was revealed to her was that two of her siblings had died and her mom couldn't bring herself to accept the invitation from social services to reunite with her now grown daughter.

Where does a coincidence end and a supernatural intervention begin? I don't know but in seeing this story I can really say it was intervention because it's just too much to conclude she just 'got lucky'.  She kept up hope that someday she would reconnect with her family. Not knowing who she was related to or if she saw someone on the street who looked like her, thinking was it a relative? Her children also didn't have a maternal lineage that they knew of and it plagued their hearts too from being fully complete.  But still she held on to the faith and the promise that God would show her who her mom was.  So how did it ever line up to make any sense?

After being rejected over the phone for the second time by social services telling her that her mom declined to reconnect, a local news show featuring a story about Oprah Winfrey's mom was on t.v.  In the segment the interviewer asked her about the adult children she had that died, and low and behold there were striking similarities from that of Patricia's adoption paperwork referencing her deceased siblings.  She called her son on the phone and just put it out there -that could this be true? Are we related to Oprah? Is Oprah's mom my mom?  After her son did the research and they matched up all the birth dates of the four siblings- it was pretty much assumed- Oprah was Patricia's oldest sister.

The test in character was that this wasn't the point at which they went on the news after being rejected by Harpo studios and many other attempted contacts (go figure they probably have whack jobs on a daily basis wishing they were related to Oprah) rather they kept this a secret since 2007. Patricia and her children's discernment led them to be very concerned of the magnitude of the secret and actually empathize with how Oprah would take the news. While working two jobs Patricia never cashed in on the temptation to sell her story to a magazine or some talk show. She felt family things should be handled in the family, and her vow to keep this secret was really an amazing test in personal strength and honor.  She later reached out to the daughter of deceased sister Pat who owned a BBQ restaurant and when she told her that she believed she was her mother's sister, a wave of emotion consumed them. On the walls of the establishment were pictures of the late Pat and she was a striking resemblance, if not twin of Pat, not only in looks by mannerisms.  While they were years apart they were just identical. This led them to agree to later DNA tests to  verify, but everyone in the family that met her knew before the results were in just off of her looks.  It was as if their mother came back to life almost...

10 minutes before Oprah was to go on stage to tape she begged her assistant to clarify the back and forth 'secret' that was going on through a wicked game of phone tag and her assistant said "Oprah, you have a sister".  What a blow- now go tape a show!  So at Thanksgiving 2010 Oprah and Stedmond traveled to meet her sister Patricia for the first time. While there is a lot of things to process as a family it was beautiful to see Oprah get so emotional on stage today by sharing how over the years of fame, its nearly impossible not to get sold out by everyone, including family, who was trying to get something from her or make a buck off her fame. She wept w/ emotion in thanking her new sister for not going to the tabloids or exposing this in the press. Oprah and her family believed that for them to share it on her show today was how they would maintain control over the details as it would get out anyway. There were lessons about shame being released and about the power of God to bring forth a promise and a revelation that would forever change their lives. Oprah now has a living sister, whom she said gives closure to her late sister on her 'greatest day' as her late sister struggled with drug addiction. Pat's children have an aunt that is like their mom alive but well,  their mother can now release the shame that she has been carrying since 1963 and accept another daughter and the hole in Patricia and her children's heart has now been filled with a new found family.

The irony is that no one knows why she was named Patricia, the same name of her older sister Pat who died. Their mother says she did not name her Patricia when she gave her up for adoption. But of all the names in the world for her to have how strange. The fact that Oprah produced a movie years ago about a sister that comes back from the dead in Beloved. The moment she was rejected from social service's contact with her mom, the news program aired with specific dates of her deceased siblings. Its all a lot to swallow but in the spirit of thinking that Oprah is too big, too rich and too powerful to be stricken by a case of the 'human being', is just simply un true. If I asked myself could I hold onto a secret that big if working two jobs struggling over two kids- alone? I'm not sure I could of, but her faithfulness in doing the right thing I am sure will beyond pay off. And not just in her bank account, but rather pay off in her life long relationship with her new family, as a respectable addition to be trusted and welcomed. And yes I'm sure she'll be getting spoiled too soon and never have to worry about money, nor will her kids- I mean "Auntie Oprah" does have a nice ring to it!!!   I know I'm a sucker for 'You get a car! You're going to Australia' but this time its "Oprah! You get a sister!!!!" - Something her money could never buy....

Oprah show snipet

Growing or Dying? A New Year a New Perspective...2011

Someone once told me“You’re either growing or dying” and the best explanation of such a cliche is that from the time a fruit begins its either growing or rotting. There is no in between, there is no plateau of time (unless frozen- and being frozen is technically death even though it holds off decay). From the point of ‘ripe’ it is now deteriorating to death and decay. You’re either pregnant or your not....Your muscle mass is either building or diminishing...Your heart is either pumping or its not. We are also either growing or we’re dying. How harsh a comparison to ones ‘spiritual life’ yet I see a sort of alignment in such a conclusion.

For me I always come back to a 'parent & child' relationship when I get stumped in theological heavenly realms. I see God fathering me and I know how I feel compelled to parent so it seems to clarify some things for me.  For some reason when I am drawing and shooting blanks I am somehow able to understand a situation if framed in such a relational way. Most people experience the parent/child relationship in one way or another at most times in their lives. I was asked “How are you spiritually growing?” and what a question it is. If over thought it could be just daunting but as a former preschool teacher I must simplify simplify simplify and then things don’t seem so hard. I frame such an answer to such a deep question in the context of metaphors, cliche’s, parenting 101 and early childhood abc charts I guess because I always understood the simple.

There seems to be such an awareness of spiritual growth in today's culture. I have many friends that are not affiliated with any one religious group yet are seemingly seeking the supernatural. There are Yoga studios on every corner and no matter how agnostic people seem to be, they do find comfort in alignment with something bigger than this world. There is a huge boom in metaphysical, new age and ‘spiritual’ quests of the like. There are workshops, books and Oprah shows exploring all the ways we could align ourselves with 'the universe'.  Is this awareness just because of my age or is this really a sign of the times? Maybe a bit of both- maybe my age allows me to see it more in my peer groups than when we were teens. But maybe the times are making room for more than just a few choice religious and spiritual mega groups to blindly just point and pick to for answers.

So as a parent when I ask myself “Is my child growing?" as if imagining God asking this question of me,  I am left with a few clear answers and descriptions. I should be able to draw from these to answer the above question. I categorize growth becuase there are such an array of choices when thinking about my children and I have a hunch so does God, considering all our gifts come from him.

Are they growing physically & nutritionally? Can I measure the external growth by standard measurements? Are they nutritionally sound by generally accepted standards of health and diet?
How is their growing environment? Is the place they have to grow safe, secure and healthy? Are they being exposed to different cultures, beliefs, ways of life, travels, food, music and the like?
Are they growing in an intellectual/academic way?  Are they at grade level? Is their education holistic and transcendent? Is information being given to them or accessible to them in many ways? Can they memorize and recite things like multiplication tables, scripture, poetry?
Are they growing in emotional stability? Can they process their emotions, are they learning about their feelings and their internal compass of empathy, sympathy, care, concern, and compassion? Are they developing a strong self image that is unique and not copied?
Are they growing relationally & socially? What relationships are strong? What needs work? How do they perceive the people in their lives? How do they respond and listen to the social cues around them? How do they view relationships with friends, adults, parents and God? Are they truly connecting and responding? Do they listen but also speak up when appropriate?
Are they growing in application? Can they apply what they’ve learned? Can they take something and pull from it like a tool in a tool belt later? Does information go in one ear and out the other or does it at least tinker around in there for awhile?
Are they growing in creativity and the multiple areas of intelligence? Must they be given strict guidelines or can they create within or without boundaries? Can they tap into uncharted, unmeasured circumstances and shift, mold and shape? How are they at being book smart, music smart, logic smart, picture smart, people smart, self smart, body smart, & nature smart. See "A Kid’s Guide to Multiple Intelligences" By Dr Thomas Armstrong for more details on descriptions if interested- I highly recomend!
Are they growing in Diciplines, Self control & Delayed Gratification? Have they learned, developed and applied age appropriate disciplines? Can they tie their shoes? Can they clean up after themselves? Can they use manners & follow rules? Can they pray before meal & bed time? Can they restrain themselves? Can they honor boundaries? Are they learning patience and that delaying instant gratification in one moment can have a great payoff at a later? Can they prepare in advance forseeing a need by being proactive? Do they practice gratitude, sharing and giving?

THEN if I come to the question...

Are they growing spiritually? I would think “Are they growing in all the above areas in a God guided, Divinely inspired, Biblically based manner?” I laugh when thinking about singling out ‘Spiritual Growth’ from all other growth. Since deciding to walk with Christ, its always been the foundation of everything else I build on. I put on the lenses of a Christ follower and from there all areas of growth follow through such lenses. Its as if I put on pink sunglasses and the whole world now has pink hues. If I look at my child’s growth and use the ‘spiritual’ foundation, then it effects the way in which I see fit to guide and lead them through growing in all other categories. It sets the rules,goals,  guidelines and standard for all growth- its the master key.

“Ignorance on Fire is better than knowledge on ice” is one I seem to agree with. Sometimes we over think things and sit on ice obsolete with all our brains and information. Other times we may make a fool of ourselves but our passions and actions make something happen. I have met people that know so much about God, scripture and the like that they are no earthly good. I have met people that are so smart in evolutionary theory, micro biology, and atheism that they are no heavenly good either. Both don’t DO anything to affect change or growth- they spend all their time thinking and ingesting information only to be able to argue and be pessimistic on all things theological and supernatural.

Then there was a story of a guy who knew little but his love for God and ever so scared decided to jump off a cliff at work and invite the office atheist to church. Shaking knees he trembled to the cubicle- he incurred deep resistance and was met with ever technical theological questions that he could not answer. He walked away in defeat and rejection. Only a few years later to have met a guy who was sitting next to the atheist at work and overheard the invitation. He and his wife went to church that night and it saved their marriage and their lives. His ignorance on fire was far more effective in this example...

A complex question holds a simple answer for me in the form of a few smaller questions- Have I grown more than I did yesterday? Am I farther along than I was last year? Have a made some great strides in the last decade? Every person has a different matrix system and finding one that works for you is no cookie cutter form. Some people are fighting a daily battle of substance addiction that must be a daily battle- one day at a time. Some people have fought a year of pain and setbacks or disease. Some people have had a decade lost never to go back and change- but now wondering 'what got done?' if anything. For me I like to set my goals yearly, my milestones in decades and my effort to reach such, daily. Tomorrow is an easy scape goat for getting nothing done and after all we're only promised today because once tomorrow comes it is now a 'today'.  While not every question above will be answered with great strides, if I can ask them in the first place and have a response- than I have grown in not just a wide variety of ways, but in the most encompassing, foundational, important way- Spiritually.